Assignment #1, Submission #1: Formal letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Ariffin. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in civil engineering. My interest in engineering began with the library where I started with non-fiction tales and then I got pulled into the world of trivia books. I was always fascinated by iconic structures that became representations of their respective country which is why I decided to go into civil engineering where I hope to have the opportunity to be a part of the nation's identity.
When it comes to hobbies I began with collecting comic books and old coins. After playing video games for a while I started getting curious about how these digital worlds were made. As a result, I decided to learn the basics of the programming language C#, the gaming engine unity, and blender a 3d modelling software. This was a refreshing hobby as I started learning for the fun of it rather than for a goal in mind.
For the most part, I would like to believe that I am good at communication however that is far from the truth. My greatest weakness is my inability to organize my ideas into coherent sentences when speaking. Sometimes I would think of what I would say but it almost never plays out as well as it did in my head. Despite this weakness, I am still rather confident at public speaking as the insecurity usually hits me after I'm done talking.
My two goals in this module are to first, improve my critical thinking as an idea that has been fleshed out and organized is a lot easier to talk about than something incomplete. Second, I hope that through this module I will be able to improve when it comes to giving impromptu speeches.
Best regards,
Ariffin
edited: 30/01/22
read: Wailian, Gerryl & Praveen
There is a good flow to this email, is clear and concise. You have a consistent tone throughout thus it sounds neat. Words are not unnecessarily capitalised too. However I have spotted that you missed a full stop after the end of the second paragraph.
ReplyDeleteThank you for spotting that mistake Waillian
DeleteDear Ariffin,
ReplyDeleteI like the way how you link your hobby into your passion in engineering. It's clear and concise, well elaborated. Do look out for your punctuation as I think you missout at the end of second paragraph. Last paragraph, I suppose instead of "Second" you need to put "secondly"
Cheers,
Chin Wai
Cheers Chin Wai, thanks for leaving a comment and while I am not certain I do believe that using "second" is acceptable. Will have to check up on that.
DeleteWell paragraphed to dictate the transitions in talking points. Ideas are clear and well communicated.
ReplyDeleteThanks for leaving a comment
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Ariffin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your detailed but concise letter. Reading it I'm able to know a bit about you. For one thing, it's interesting to see how your hobby focus has evolved, and it's good to see how diverse those interest really are.
I do have one question: What are non-fiction tales?
The letter is also concise, and yet it covers the main points laid out in the assignment brief. It's good that your goals overlap with the module content.
While your language has good fluency, there are several sentence structure issues in the letter:
-- My name is Ariffin, I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in civil engineering.
-- For the most part I would like to believe that I am good at communication however that is far from the truth.
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteFirst of all thank you for the constructive criticism. Second, from the previous lesson i think i have an idea what the sentence structure issues are.
Thanks,
Ariffin